Burning Question #12

This is a silly question, my friend suggested this one and I thought it was too funny to pass up. 

She asked, "Do you or have you ever farted in front of your spouse or significant other?" 

I was shocked to think that people didn't but apparently some people are more modest or more polite than I am... ha ha!  So to add to that question, I would take it further and ask, if you do, when was the first time you, ahem, farted in front of your significant other?

I couldn't help but think of this video when I heard this question... it is the most ridiculous thing ever.  But it is kind of funny too! (don't judge me) 



Also if you guys have any questions that you would like to see answered, please let me know. 

I have been so crazy-busy lately and have been enthralled in a few books as well so I haven't been very good at posting lately.  I plan on trying to post a few things this week and talk about some fun Spring fashion stuff as well.

Burning Question follow up

I gave my opinion on the last Burning Question.  Scroll down to the original post to see it or click HERE.

Thanks for those of you that shared your opinions with me!

Burning Question #11

**updated to show my answer (at the bottom)**

It's been a while, welcome back old friend.  Today's topic-

Infidelity... (disclaimer- This is not intended to offend anyone.  This was not asked with anyone in mind.  I just heard a story at work today that got me thinking.  I hope I don't make anyone feel bad with this question.)  This is more of an open discussion than asking what you think is right or wrong... Because obviously cheating on your significant other is not ok.  But I feel like lately I have heard more about people who are cheating or have cheated. (noone close to me, just people I kind of know at work or past acquaintances.) 

Here are a few questions that I would ask you to consider:

• What do you consider to be cheating? (i.e. texting, emailing, going to lunch, kissing, doing the deed, etc)
• Do you know of people who have an open marriage, do they have rules?
• Have you had friends that have cheated on their spouse or vice versa?  Has it affected your relationship with that person or their spouse?
• Is it a deal-breaker for a marriage? 
• Anything else you would like to share.

I know people don't like to comment on blogs anymore, DAMN YOU GOOGLE READER!  But please chime in,  I would like to get a discussion going, even if all you have to say it, "Cheating is bad and yes it is a deal-breaker" or whatever you think :)

Thanks and I will share my opinion after I have given you all time to comment.

***updated***

First of all, thanks to all of you that commented.  I loved reading your input and I appreciate your honesty!

This question can be hard to answer and is probably very different for a lot of people.  For me it is pretty black and white.  I agree with most of the things you guys said too.  First, don't let your mind go there.  If you are imagining and fantasizing about other people and other situations that is your first step of betrayal. 

Second, like was mentioned in the comments, "don't mess with fire".  If you have to stop and say, "Is it ok that I am doing this?" it probably isn't.  Chris and I have mutual friends of the opposite sex that we text and we know we text and there would never be a question that something was going on.  But if it is something you have to hide or would be uncomfortable having your spouse read, then you should cut it out! 

Third, I don't think you need to have sex to consider it cheating.  If you are engaging in a relationship with someone else that is taking away from your marriage and your trust with your spouse, that is cheating. 

For Chris and I, we knew and talked about what would be "deal breakers" going into our marriage.  Cheating was one of them.  I personally know that I couldn't get that sacred trust back that exists between husband and wife.  I would constantly be wondering and stewing and stressing and feeling insecure about whether or not he would do it again.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would NEVER cheat on Chris because I will never let my mind even consider what it would be like to be with someone else.  I made sacred promises to my husband that I take very seriously and will never break.  If I ever had the desire to be with someone else then I would know that there is something seriously wrong with my marriage and that we need to do something to fix it.  I don't believe that people who are in happy and healthy relationships cheat.  There must be a problem or a deficiency in some way for that person to be able to justify stepping out. (whether the other partner is aware of the problem or not, sadly.)

I know of people who have cheated and who have been cheated on and it is such a sad and hurtful thing.  For most people it ends in divorce.  I know a few people who have stuck it out for a while and worked hard to fix it, but it eventually ends.  This is not always the case, but is quite often.  I don't believe that open marriages work or are healthy but I also don't know anyone who is in one so I don't understand the "logic" behind it. 

I think that is all I have to add.  The main thing to remember is if your head and your heart are not giving their all to your relationship then there is a problem.


Thanks again guys and let me know if you ever have ideas for a 'Burning Question", I love getting suggestions.

Burning Question #10

CLEANING!!!

As a woman, wife, and mother this is something that is a big thing in my life.  My hubby helps out here and there but I was raised by a mom who LOVED and almost obsessed over a clean and clutter-free home.  Therefore, I have been taught the "correct" way to clean and prefer to maintain my house "my way".  I only ask Chris to do a few things (i.e. the dishes, yard work, bathing the kids, dusting certain rooms, vacuuming)  Otherwise, I have to go and re-clean the room he just "cleaned", so I find it easier to ask him to watch the kids so I can clean. (disclaimer- He is great about doing chores and is willing to do what I ask, most of the time.) But then it can get overwhelming, especially since I work outside the home and babysit all day Wednesdays, so I don't have as many free days to clean the house.  I am no expert on housework but I have seen a few great ideas and motivating articles lately that I wanted to share with all of you.

First is the 1 Minute Rule Cleaning, I saw it referenced on Angie's blog and thought it was a great and motivating way to start tackling some to-do lists and tasks that seem a bit overwhelming at first glance. 

I also came across this article on the same website as the 1 minute rule, called "How To De-Crapify Your Home- A Start-To-Finish Guide".  I need this one mostly for my closet... I get a little throw away happy when it comes to other things in the house.

And last but not least C. Jane's amazing video about zone cleaning your house.  I really like this idea and unintentionally do this a lot.  But now I know what it is and can fully embrace it.  I laughed out loud when I watched this and I want to be her friend IRL.

So now that we have some ideas out there, my question is-

How do you prefer to clean your house, what are some tips or ways that help you stay on top of housework?

Do you do most of it alone or have helpers?

Do you freak out about clutter and little things or do you not sweat the small stuff?

Burning Question #9

Let's talk about insecurities, we all have them.  But is it possible overcome them? 

I have chosen to speak about one that I feel I have mostly overcome.  Most of you know that I am 5' 9" tall, emphasis on the tall (well 5' 83/4").  I know that I'm not quite an amazon woman, but that is pretty tall for a girl.  I was one of the first to get tall and was always considered to be a tall kid.  I remember in elementary school standing at the tall end of the line with the boys {and a couple girls} and I thought it was grand to be so tall!  But as I got older and taller and started passing the boys by, I got more and more self-conscious about it.  I don't know why boys take longer to catch up on the height end of things, but in Jr high and the first part of high school I was taller than a lot of the guys around me.  Being tall had its pro's as well- I was a dancer and it is nice to be tall and have long lines but {here is another one of my insecurities} I have short legs and bigger hips so compared to some of the other tall girls on my dance team, with their FOREVER long legs, I looked stubby and more curvy than I wanted.  I know that some guys didn't ask me out or ask me to dance at the "stomps" because I was taller than them.  There was a kid in my high school show/a Capella choir with me that called me and my tall friend 'amazon women'.  Ya, that didn't really bode well with me or help with my insecurity.  Lastly, a lot of my high school friends were shorties.  I would always laugh with my friend Ashley that I looked like her mom when we went out because she was so tiny and looked very young. ha ha 

Luckily, as I got older and went to college there were more tall boys around and I was getting less worried about my height.  However, I still would hunch over a bit and wasn't as proud of my height as I should have been.   I always told my mom that I would marry a tall guy and breed tall boys, to which she would reply, "don't discriminate against the short guys, you never know who you might meet".  (My mom and dad are both 5' 9", so my mom doesn't wear heels a lot, LOL)  But I insisted that I would marry a tall guy and boy was I right.  Chris is over 6' 8".  So he has nearly a foot on me and when I met him everything changed.  I could wear heels without feeling self-conscious because he still had AT LEAST 6" on me.  He made me feel smaller even though nothing had changed about me physically.  Now you can see me running around in 5" heels which would make me 6' 2"!  I still have to make sure that I don't hunch, out of {bad} habit.  But I have come to appreciate my height.  I will make sure to instill a sense of pride and beauty in Lola so that hopefully she won't feel as insecure about her height as I did.  Both of my kids will be tall and are already!  There are tall genes hitting them from both sides of the family.

Hunching and still super tall

Little hunch

Mini-hunch and creepy Chris

 

Notice my bent legs, totally doing a squat to look shorter. Plus I just had Lola so I was super insecure about my weight.



Sometimes when I see pictures of myself with my friends, I think, I look a lot bigger than so and so.  But I stop and think, everyone is different and I doubt other people would look at that photo and knit-pick at me the way I do to myself.  I have a healthy body that does what it is supposed to and I need to be happy in my own skin... and for the most part, I am. :)

What insecurities did/do you have? Have you been able to overcome it/them?  What were some things that helped you?

Burning Question #8

Obviously I suck at this feature... it has been on hiatus, ok?  For this one I am just asking more for advice and life experiences. 

I am breastfeeding Owen and it is going well.  Better than it did with Lola (I dried up at 5 months :(  ) But he is getting so big and eating tons and I can't keep up with him so we supplement him with formula.  We have tried rice cereal and he hates it.  So we are going to give it another go soon and see how that goes but my question is:

Were you able to keep up with your babies appetite as they started eating more?  Other things that I think may factor in are the fact that I work so 3 days a week I have to pump at work and the fact that he sleeps through the night now.  Could it be that since I am pumping, at work, my milk has not increased?  Could not feeding or pumping through the night affect it?  What do you ladies think and what are/were your breastfeeding experiences like?

Pumping at work... the story of my life.

UPDATED- I have had a few questions asked so here are the answers.  I pump every 3 hours at work and I work 10 hour days so I pump 3 times most days.  Unless I am way busy then sometimes it is 2.  Also I am not having a dip in production, it just hasn't increased as he has gained a bigger appetite.  We are talking from 5 to 8oz's!  I do have mother's milk tea and an herbal supplement to help with production but I haven't resorted to those yet :)

Burning Question Number 7

I am sure you have heard about THIS STORY.  The mom in France was pregnant 8 different times, carried the babies to term, delivered them herself and then smothered them and hid their bodies.  (If you haven't read the article, please follow the link)  She finally came forward and confessed... after the new homeowners found the 6 baby corpses in the garage of her father's home.  But now they are trying to decide on her punishment and whether 'According to Time, Cottrez may suffer from psychotic pregnancy denial, which they describe as a "quasi-schizophrenic condition in which women either don't realize or cannot accept that they are with child - not even enough to have an abortion." ' Which it sounds like could make her less likely to receive a full/real sentence.  Here is another article on this story.

I know post-partum depression is a real thing and there are other types of mental illness that can affect new mothers.  But how far should that explanation go?  Where is the line between illness, awareness, and evil?  Is it fair that mom's with post-partum or other mental illnesses get off easy or easier for killing their own children?  What do you think should happen to this woman in particular?

This could get heated.  Please be honest but respectful.  Let's keep this discussion going in the comments.  I will add more on my opinion after the initial opinions are voiced. 

Burning Question Number 6

I read a post today that got me thinking.... I want to know what other people think about this as well. Thus, the Burning Question. Can we really have it all? I guess this question is mostly for mom's and wives but anyone can have an opinion on the subject so chime in. Here it goes...

Do you ever think back to the good ole days of going out with friends every weekend, going dancing {80's night most of the time for us back in the day} or going to concerts all the time and basically not having anyone or anything to answer to? Sometimes I reminisce about the "old days" and I do have fond memories, but I would never change a thing about where I am today. Being a wife and a mother have been the most fulfilling things to ever happen in my life. They have brought me more joy than anything else ever has. But that doesn't change the fact that sometimes I crave the old, exciting, carefree feelings that were associated with that time in my life. I am an outgoing person {I didn't have to state the obvious ha ha} and I enjoy getting out and doing things with my friends sans hubby and child.

Chris (and his stupid ornery face) and I with Mike, Brit, Sindee, Jeanette and Jesse taking the pic

Should I feel guilty about that?

Should I feel like I need to be home and be content with that?

How do you guys reconcile the 2 sides of your personality OR do you not and just embrace one or the other?

{I am going to go ahead and answer this one now instead of later.} I feel that mom's and dad's need some time away from the kids, and even each other sometimes. We need to relax, have fun and socialize with friends or family in order to keep our sanity.{I think} Chris and I have always made a point to get out on dates together but also have guy's/girl's nights with friends. It has made things great for us! We don't ever have to feel guilty about leaving the other for the evening or be afraid that the other one will feel left out or be upset because we take turns and don't do it too often {obviously}. I have book club and girl's nights and dancing with the ladies and Chris has season tickets to ReAl Salt Lake Soccer with some buds and has guy's nights as well. We love our night's out!

I think we can have it all. We don't need to lose ourselves because we have taken on new roles in life. We can grow and become a better version of us but we don't have to forget who we are and feel like we need to be or feel a certain way just because we have been given more responsibility. You can be a good parent and/or spouse and have a fun, carefree side as well.... In my humble opinion. :)

What do you people think? How do you deal with this in your life? Do you think you can have both? Do you think I should simmer down? (ha)

These festivities below were for Amanda's Bday a few months ago!We were dancing machines!
3 of us are married and 4 have kids :)
Wearing all the bling that the club owner gave us with our special Bday treats and such.

My Answer to Burning Question Number 5

Sorry for the delay... I kinda, sorta, maybe forgot about this one for a minute... or so. Click HERE for the Burning Question itself.



As far as the article goes, I think some of the ways the author described the women at the conference and the tone that was used was not-so-nice. But I don't think the article was trying to say in any way that blogging mom's are bad mothers or that blogging is not valuable. The author herself is a blogger and she also mentioned how valuable these blogs can be to companies and small businesses for advertising. That being said, it would've been nice if she were more positive about mom's being go-getter's and making a business out of these electronic journals known as blogs. Also if she would have referenced the conference organizers or their blog, since they were the reason that particular convention existed. She could have mentioned that they have a really great thing going with their network of women and that a lot of people are a part of a positive thing that those 2 ladies created. {That I happen to be a part of, even though I am not very active in it} Click HERE to find out more about SITS or click the link on the side of my blog.



To my second question I say: There should be moderation in all things. Of course their could be moms out there who put too much time into blogging or the Internet in general. But I feel that most mothers are responsible enough to know how to balance their family and blogging. It is great if they can make money from their blog or if they do it to feel a part of a community. I know for me I enjoy blogging, I am not sure many people read it now-a-days. But that is ok with me. I do it for me, to journal my life and if I am able to share things I am passionate about with other people then even better. I think for many people blogging is a release and a creative outlet and if anything it is a fun and productive hobby to have.



Keep on blogging everyone!!

Burning Question Number 5

Over the last few days there has been quite a hubbub about THIS article in the New York Times entitled, "Honey, Don’t Bother Mommy. I’m Too Busy Building My Brand". There are many "mommy bloggers" who are outraged and think that this article is belittling or saying that mommy bloggers can't be good mom's and good bloggers at the same time. Go HERE to read more from the outraged mom's. I can't say I agree that this is what the article is saying, I will tell you more about my opinion later. But I would like you to take a minute to read the article and weigh in on the issue, if you would like.

Here is my main question(s) or part 2 of the question, if you will:

Do you think mom's who blog, professionally or frequently, put too much time and effort into blogging and branding and not enough time into raising kids, cooking, and the like? {maybe this is the wrong audience to be asking... ha}

Or have you met someone who has given you a hard time about being a blogger or looks at blogging negatively?

My Answer to Burning Question number 4

I kind of got side-tracked and should've answered this sooner...

Like many of you said, I consider mom's that use cloth diapers to be awesome and better women than I. I use disposable diapers, simply for the ease and convenience of them. If I were a stay-at-home-mom I would've considered them more seriously. But with Lola going to a babysitter and me being out of the home enough that keeping up with the laundry would've been a daunting task on its own... I decided disposable was the way for me. For my own sanity! I seriously cringe at diaper changes when I think about the diaper sitting in a landfill, but I am selfish enough that I haven't changed my ways.

When I have another baby, if I am able to stay home, then I think I will try out cloth. For now, I feel it is a lot to ask of a daycare provider to have to learn about cloth diapering, especially if they watch other children. But if I could find a sitter that was willing to work with them, then I may try it as well. I like the fact that they are money saving and environmentally friendly. When the time comes for another little one maybe we can investigate cloth diapers together and ask Kate for advice as well!

Burning Question number 4

I have had some good suggestions. Here is one that you reader's recommended. Its not a controversial one {at least I don't think...} but it got me thinking.

Disposable diapers vs cloth? What do you or have you used? What are your reasons for why you use what you do?

My answer to the burning question

We didn't get as much input on this weeks question... Hopefully we can get some more people to contribute, otherwise I will take that as a sign that this is boring and no one cares... ha ha

In Vitro?

I think it is such a blessing for those who can not get pregnant on their own. There are many people who have issues conceiving and if this technology were not available, there would be a lot of people who would never be able to have children. Of course there is adoption, which is so great but I am sure it would be hard to not at least have the opportunity to create children from your own flesh and blood. No, it is not playing God and no, I don't think that if you are unable to conceive, on your own, that you are not intended to have children. {There are some horrible parents out there who have WAY too many kids. If that were the case, all those parents would be the one's stricken with infertility... in my humble opinion} Thank the Lord for these great scientific advancements that better our lives everyday!

Thanks for the ideas for questions and the comments on this topic as well.... till the next time!

Burning Question #3

I had a few suggestions and they were all great so I was having a hard time deciding!! I thought I would go with the first suggestion and move on from there. Here it is:

"I would LOVE to hear what people think about in vitro. Is it playing God? Is it appropriate? How do people feel about it?"

So there you have it. What are your opinions? Remember, be honest and frank, we are all big kids right? If this is your first time reading this blog, welcome and join in!!

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Here are some pics I took over the last week for you to enjoy!

Lola eating cheese at Papa and Granny's. I had just got home from work and she was excited!!

Lola and I took a trip to American Apparel on Friday and she picked out the adorable hoodie that she is wearing!

Not long after she had a meltdown, it was nap time and who loves being in a car seat? Luckily I was equipped with McDonalds fries. So I just passed a couple back, don't judge me ha ha

I bought these fabulous shoes this weekend and I have been loving them. They are great with skirts/dresses or cute skinny jeans. I am not used to wearing heels lately so my puppies were barking after wearing them. Pain=beauty, sometimes.

Last, here is Lola enjoying the new house that Granny and Papa gave her for Christmas. I always wanted one of those! She is too spoiled.

Suggestions

I think it is time for another "Burning Question". Please give me any suggestions you may have.

Are you wondering how other people feel on a topic {controversial or not, silly or serious} share

it and let's find out!! If you don't want everyone to see that you are the one who asked the

question, email me at darilperry {at} gmail {dot} com.

Thanks in advance!

My opinion to this week's question

I have had quite a few responses to this week's "Burning Question". THANK YOU! Please share if you have any questions that you would like to get opinions on. If you have any more thoughts on this or if this is your first time hearing about this week's question, please share!

My opinion started out one way and has changed a bit through my personal journey with having Lola. At first I would've been the first to say that elective C-sections are selfish and that doctors push them on people to keep a more "set schedule" {which some Dr's may do...}

I was planning on having Lola vaginally and with an epideral. I am not brave enough to do it natural. But I thought, if this one goes well and I know more about what is going on during birth, through experience, I may try it natural with the next one. Well things changed toward the end of my pregnancy. Lola was breech ever since half way through the pregnancy {or sooner, but she was probably so small that she switched to and fro earlier} We kept looking each new appt and every time she was still breech. When I got to be about 36 or 37 weeks along, the Dr. said if she is not turned at your next weekly appt, I am going to have you go to the hospital and get her turned, otherwise we will have to do a C-section to get her out safely.... I had researched turning and knew that some chiropractors were certified in turning methods and considered going to one in Ogden. I looked up "ways to get your baby to turn" on the internet and tried some of the ideas but she was where she wanted to be- with her head poking out right underneath the bottom of my ribs on the right side. Each week the Dr. would say let's see if she turned but I knew she hadn't because I could feel her head in the same spot.

So I went back the next week to the "turn or not to turn" appointment and she was still beech. I had a conversation with my doc where he told me he would recommend not turning the baby and having a C-section. He had brought it up before and I thought, "No, I don't want to have a C-section that was not 'my plan'" but over the last couple of weeks I thought, what if we try to turn her and it doesn't work or it forces me into labor early or worse... I spoke with my mom and many other people about the situation and I was surprised at how everyone's opinions toward C-sections were generally negative. I almost felt like some people would judge me if I ended up having a C-section. This is where my opinion started to change... the Dr. continued, telling me that turning a baby, when it is your first birth, generally doesn't work or they turn back, that she is really big and that could factor into her not turning or why she was in that position in the first place, and last he said she may be in that way for a reason. He said he now is recommending a C-section.

I decided to trust my Dr. and go for a C-section. I trusted him and knew that he would tell me what he honestly thought was best for Lola and I. {Side note- I hadn't dilated at all by the time I was 38+ weeks because she was breech so it looked like a vaginal delivery was not even on its way.} Fast forward to the day she was born- I had her 8 days early. I was laying on the table in the surgical room and out came Lola and the Dr. said "I am glad we decided on a C-section, the cord is wrapped around her a few times". It may have been divine intervention in my case, I am not sure. But I am very glad that I decided to trust my Dr. I have changed my opinion on C-sections and I am glad that option was available for Lola's safety and my own.

How I feel now is, birth is a very special and personal thing. I think if you are healthy and able to have a natural or vaginal birth, that is a great option and something I am fairly jealous that I didn't have. But if you choose to have a C-section, that is your choice as well. I am not going to lie, I still feel like it is a little selfish, basically because it is "benefiting" the mother but there are no apparent benefits for the baby, if the baby is healthy and strong and a C-section is not necessary. {see what I am saying?} But in no way would I judge someone for doing that, I am sure the fear of having a baby pop out your hoo hah is enough to scare some people to death and if having a major surgery is less scary, more power to you! If you choose to have a baby natural, good for you. But please don't judge others for using drugs, that is what makes them feel comfortable and is in their birth plan. One thing that bothers me are self righteous mom's. We all do what's best for our children and don't need another mother trying to tell us what to do.

What will I do for the next baby?
My recovery from my C-section was A PIECE OF CAKE!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot tell you how great it was. I heard horror stories from both kind of births, donuts and throbbing vags and not being able to walk and seepage from the other. But luckily I had none of the "horror story" symptoms and I was up and at 'em earlier than a lot of vaginal recoveries and had no restrictions past 4 weeks after birth. That is not how it is for everyone. Right now I am planning on having a C-section with the next baby. Simply because I am seriously worried about a uterus laceration {is that right?} I don't want my uterus to bust open before it is time to have the baby. But who knows, if my next pregnancy is smooth sailing and my Dr. says a VBAC is ok, I will seriously consider it. I would love to experience natural childbirth. But I will be scared simply because my last experience was very easy.

That was a lot longer than I expected and I hope I didn't offend anyone or bore you to death.... Thanks for listening and know that however you choose to do it is great with me!!!

Burning Question #2- C sections

I have decided that I want to start doing a feature about "burning questions" or "Hot topics". So I will need some help from you guys to make this work. Please comment with any opinions you have and let me know if you have ideas for questions too!! Even if I don't know you and you think it would be awkward... I promise it won't be!! I love everyone and would love to make some new bloggie friends!!! I will try to do a question lets say every other week. {we don't want to get sick of this right?}

This weeks question:

How do you feel about C-sections? Even further, elective C-sections or breech baby C-sections {or the things that go along with that, as in turning the baby}?

I know some people have very strong feelings one way or the other, so let those opinions fly. I will share mine when all you people are done :)

The burning question...

I was reading through my blogs today and stumbled upon this post from (NO) Sex and the City. {such a great blog, Natalie is so cute and talented!!} I read the earlier post as well and although I didn't agree with all of her stipulations and standards of cleanliness, I had no idea that people would get so heated about someone else's ideal of cleanliness... You should read these posts, they are very entertaining.

But my question is: Do you shower everyday? and even further, Do you wash your hair everyday?

I shower every other day. Unless I work out or have a reason to need to shower everyday. I never thought there was anything wrong with that. I am clean and smell fresh and nice... but apparently the author of the blog and most of the commenter's think it is ludicrous that not every woman showers everyday. So I want to know what you ladies {and/or gentlemen} think. Please chime in for either side. I won't be offended, I am genuinely curious and would love as much input as possible!