There is truth in jest!

Dear Baby weight,

Hello flabby friend. I must be direct and let you know whats up! I would just like to say, I know you are a reminder of all the "fun" times we had together being Fatty McFat Pants {aka pregnant and extremely swollen in the summer heat} and you helped keep me extra warm and cozy {not that I needed the help in the summer} while carrying the sweet Princess. But it is time for you to hit the road. I know that you were cooperative in the first couple of months. Heck, 27 pounds of you literally fell off in the first week... then over the next 4 weeks or so, the next 23 pounds left just as easily. But now I have 10 of you left and it wants to stay for good! Well news flash- you need to leave, ASAP.

What is that you say? It's my fault. Ok, ok maybe it is a little "my fault"... So what if I don't want to "eat healthy" and "exercise". Maybe I like to eat pizza, sausage egg Mcmuffins, cold stone, and lets not forget Taco Bell. {These may have contributed to you getting there in the first place.} Maybe I enjoy sitting on "me hind quarters" and watching all of my DVR goodies, that have been saved for my viewing pleasure in the previous nights, instead of going to the gym. {With the pass I purchased over a month ago and have only used ONCE} What is so wrong with a little self-indulgence?

Fine, I realize I need to actually work to get the rest of you to leave so I can fit into my "skinny jeans" and wear form fitting shirts and not show off my voluptuous "muffin top". Muffin tops aren't that cute, I heard through the grapevine... I guess I will start trying. {begrudgingly} But if the hubby comes to you complaining because I am ornery and hungry and tells you that I cry because I want a Red Vine {that's for Mom and Nic ha ha}, don't say I didn't warn you!!! You better take all the blame too, because after all, my pain and suffering WILL be your fault. You need to learn to be a team player.

So thanks for the good times! But since Lola is almost 12 weeks, we need to part ways and maybe I will see you again with the next baby... down, down, down the road. Hopefully next time I will see less of you though. NO OFFENSE.

Sincerely {I think},

Post-baby body



P.S. Can I also blame you for the plethora of stretch marks and my extra, no-longer elastic, belly skin???? Because I could strangle someone for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!