Friday, November 14, 2008


{DISCLAIMER: I am normally a very happy person but I want to be honest on here and I feel like this is what I need/want to communicate today. I don't want people to feel like I am trying to have a pity party... this is just me being honest. I am sure I will feel better tomorrow :) }

Today while talking to my boss I realized:
  • I am not going to be able to work a day from home each week like I had been prayerfully and hopefully anticipating.
  • I am without my daughter more days a week than I am with her.
  • I am missing some of the "firsts" she will have while she is with the sitter.
  • Therefore, I feel like I am missing a lot of her being a baby.
  • I feel very sad today for myself.
  • Maybe I am not as ok with coming back to work as I thought I was.
  • I kinda, sorta feel like a bad mom even though I know I am doing everything I am doing for her and our family.
  • I am very, very jealous of mom's that can stay at home {at least most of the time}
  • Maybe I need to pray on my current situation...
  • I don't know how mom's that work full time all the time can do it {you are brave}
  • These are the people that make me happy everyday

  • This is where I would rather be...

P.S. Sorry to be so depressing. I'm just having a hard day. Thanks for listening.


  1. Dari... I'm so sorry that you are sad!! I promise that things will get better!

  2. If I were in your situation I would definitely be upset. I can't imagine having to be away every day. I think I would do anything I could to stay at home. Sell a car, get a boring job from home, eat rice and beans every day, anything... It would be far too hard for me to go back to work and be away from my kid. I'm sure that things will work out and you'll find a solution.

    There is a lot of pressure to feel okay about going back to work, but if you don't feel okay about it, it's not because you aren't brave. I think that moms who choose to stay home are brave. I feel sad for mommies who have no other choice but to work.

    I hope you have a good weekend.

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  4. Oh dang it. I'm sorry you are having a hard day. And you shouldn't apologize for venting about've seen some of my complaint posts, and mine are always about petty things, yours is really legit. I will pray for you too. I remember my friend Anna had SUCH a hard time coming back to work after her baby. Hopefully you will be able to figure out a solution to being at home more! Love you!!

  5. Holy cow! I am sooooo sorry you feel this way! You're going to make me cry.
    I know how you feel...I went through the same thing when I went back to work after Ty. I only lasted for TWO months...and I was only working part time.
    Let me know if I can do anything more to make your transition either way easier.
    We love you guys TONS!

  6. I'm sorry Dari! And you have every right to vent. That's part of having a blog. I can't even imagine how hard this is for you. Everything always works out though so just hang in there.

    I've excited to see you and Lola Sunday! (and I guess to see Chris too...) jk

    Love you guys!

  7. Sorry Dari :( You needa hug!!

    Dari--it's okay to have a bad day. You will have those. But you are NOT a bad Mom. So don't you say that again! It's hard to leave Lola, I can't imagine. But like you said, you are doing what you can for your family! Just keep doing what you are doing, pray for your situation and I will too :)

    Love you and hope you have a better weekend!

  8. I know how you feel.. I have worked full time since Jaxson was 3 months old.. it gets easier.. but it still sucks not to be the one to see them do everything.. but i will tell you if you can figure a way to stay home with her then i would tell you to do it.. even if things are a little tight.. it will be worth it.. and this is off the subject.. but when is your husbands birthday??

  9. I know exactly how you feel! I lasted 2 days at work after Emma was born, and I was on the verge of tears the entire time. Luckily, Craig was able to work full time to make up for me not working. It was hard with him in school, but we were all happier that way. Everyone's situation is different, so you do what's best for YOU. Good luck! Things will be better!

  10. Oh man...that sucks. I hate those days....I don't know what it's like to be a mum, but I know I would feel the same. But sometimes it just feels better to get it out...writing always does that for me. I sure hope it works out to be better for you! Let me know if there is anything I can do Dari my dear!

  11. Thanks so much for commenting on my blog and connecting! I added you to my blog list. Your baby is gorgeous and I love all your pics. I hope things look up for you soon.

  12. It totally sucks...let me tell ya! I think I barely caught Adam's first steps in the hour break I had from my 1st job to my second job when he was 1. I would say, if you can manage it then staying home is always the way to go. But that's not always the thing that ends up happening. Maybe can you get a part time job?? Being a working Mom really bites sometimes. I would have to say over the years, Adam and I have gotten used to it and we have a routine. I don't ever think at this point that I will not be a working mom. I'm pretty sure I'll always be. It's the worst when they're so little though. I feel ya.

  13. Oh Dari, you are such a good mom! I understand your situation. Just try to think positive and remember that Lola appreciates all the hard work you do! (even though she won't be able to tell you that)

  14. First of all, what great pictures on this post and the newer one. You have a wonderful family. Secondly, you are not unusual in your feelings. Even though you may miss more than you want to, you just have to focus on the good things and the time you have to spend with your baby. You have a wonderful marriage, people who help you, and a beautiful, healthy child. Think of all those who have it worse than you rather than the few who "supposedly" have it better. Use your faith to pick yourself up and start counting the blessings you do have.


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